In this post, I’m going to give you some very important questions that you need to answer as honestly as possible, they will reveal to you whether you are a commitment phobic person or not.
So, without further ado, here are the questions you need to answer:
- Are you scared of new relationships?
- Are you scared of being disappointed in a relationship?
- Have you ever had a terrible relationship in the past?
- Were you cheated on in the past?
- Do you avoid being intimate just to stay away from a relationship?
- Do you act selfishly with the person you love and care about just to show “him or her” your boundaries?
Well, if you have answered yes to all these questions, then, you are a commitment phobic person, you are scared of being in a relationship, a long-term one, and deep down, you don’t want to be cheated on and you don’t want to be manipulated or used.
Trust me, you are not alone into this, there are millions of other people who are extremely commitment phobic, it’s not something new or exclusive to you, it’s general, and it’s not due to lack of self-esteem or self-confidence, it’s because most people you are probably dealing with right now are childish and not mature enough to build a relationship with.
I don’t want you to have this belief about being in a relationship with someone, in fact, you need to open up more, and you need to accept every little possibility you have to find someone to be with and to immerse yourself in a relationship.
Trust me, relationships are messy, they are not perfect, and if the person you are with didn’t cheat on you, didn’t hurt you or didn’t steal from you, then, everything is going to be all right soon.
Just be present, listen to each other as much as possible and be nice, don’t be an asshole and then tell yourself that you are a commitment phobic person, be understanding, be very kind and sincere, and your relationships will always work.
Most importantly, you need to immerse yourself in a new relationship in order to succeed at it, you need to spend as much time with your partner as possible, listen to him or her, share things, and enjoy yourself, most importantly, read books about having amazing relationships, read posts in this website, they will help you tremendously.
The idea you need to understand here is that being a commitment phobic isn’t something “you are”, in other words, it’s not permanent, it’s just because you have had some horrible experiences in the past and you don’t want them to happen to you again, you probably had a very sad childhood, your parents divorced and you deep down, in your subconscious mind, know that relationships don’t succeed, that’s why you don’t want to be in one!
It doesn’t matter what you believe in, what matters is what you can do with yourself, you can always make things work, there are many books you can read on this subject, and most importantly, you should be nice, you should listen and you should choose the right partner to begin with.