Being narcissistic is caring too much about yourself, giving too much consideration of how you look and how you appear in front of other people. In fact, according to many people, being narcissistic is being in love with yourself, caring only about yourself!
In this post, I’m going to show you how to deal efficiently with a narcissistic husband, and the first thing you need to understand is that narcissism is only occurring in about one percent of the population, so it may be that your husband isn’t narcissistic at all, you may be dealing with a selfish husband!
- How to know if your husband is narcissistic?
These are the signs you should look for when trying to diagnose your husband, whether he is narcissistic or not:
- He is self-focused, meaning that he cares only about himself
- He cannot sustain satisfying and healthy relationships for a long time
- He lacks awareness about what he’s doing and what he is going through
- He has difficulty experiencing and feeling empathy, in other words, he cannot feel and experience the things people go through
- Has a very limited sense of boundaries
- Extremely sensitive to remarks and comments
- Feels shameful about himself
- He walks and moves with pride
- Admirers and flutter people who compliment and admire him
- Dislikes people who do not admire him
- Uses people very easily and without considering what they are doing to him
- Feels that he is more important that other people
- Always bragging
- Exaggerates his achievements
- A know it all, he is an expert at everything you ask him
- Does not feel remorse
- Does not feel gratitude for other people and what they do for him
These are the most important signs of a narcissistic husband, if you don’t notice them in him, then he is probably not narcissistic, just selfish.
Now, let’s say that you are married to a narcissistic husband, how can you deal with him?
- The first step to dealing with him is to make him aware.
According to psychologist Nathaniel Brandon, the first step to changing the behavior and attitude of someone is to make him aware of what he’s doing, and without this very important step, you can never change the behavior of your narcissistic husband!
Confront him and tell him that what he’s doing is really bringing you down; it is bringing all the negativity in him out! Tell him that his behavior is going to ruin this relationship and is not satisfying you as his wife.
However, I’m sure that you have already experienced this: when you try to confront a narcissistic person, he is going to confront you with denial and even rejection! So how can you truly deal with a narcissistic person healthily and efficiently?
- The simple answer is to ignore him!
Although this technique is extremely harsh and can be difficult to use by sensitive people, however, according to the book The Power of Now, we can all do it in order to solve our problems.
Whenever you are with your husband and he starts being narcissistic and controlling, simply ignore him!
However, you should also be nice to him when he is good and nice to you as well.
This way, you are going to reinforce his good attitude while helping him be aware of his negative one.
- Another easy technique is to give him a fantastic book to read.
Personally, I think that narcissistic people, narcissistic husbands included, suffer from very low self-esteem, they cannot see and be aware of their values and their true self.
That’s why they try to create an identity for themselves where they are attractive, popular, and loved by people.
And when someone confronts them with the truth, the reality, they will try to deny him and even use aggressiveness and sometimes violence in order to stop him or her from destroying their invented self-image.
To help a narcissistic husband, you need to give him a fantastic book I use all the time, it’s called Honoring The Self by Nathaniel Brandon, it’s probably one of the best books about self-esteem narcissistic people can use in order to become psychologically stronger, independent and healthier.
- What if nothing works, even therapy?
Well, you are only left with one solution: divorcing your narcissistic husband!
It’s because a narcissistic husband can be very difficult to live with, sometimes he can be very controlling and throwing tantrums easily, he can also be extremely suffocating to the relationship, meaning that you will not develop as a woman and be fulfilled, so, better being single than being unhappy!